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Yes. You read it right. We are to understand bullies. Although we are not to assume that all bullies are emotionally scarred because of an unhappy childhood, or just “paying it forward” by bullying others, we are to shed a little bit of light on why they act in such away. Are you still with me? 🙂
Bullies Enjoy Audience
Posits an interesting, often overlooked element of bullies; the audience. Bullying is reinforced by outsiders
. Think of them as mere spectators in an MMA fight that screams, “kill,” or shouts, “knock
his @#$!! out.” These elements give the bully an illusion that it’s ok to intimidate, coerce, and scare someone. Audiences and supporters. They do get involved, but a little laughter and reinforcement go a long way to bullies.
Bullies and their Assistants
Much like the Silver Back Apes of the Congo, bullies have posses. These are kids who assist the bully. They are more likely to become bullies themselves after a short while. These kids do not instigate the bullies. Think of this kid as the creepy little dude that gives the bad king bad advice.
What Bullies Want
Based on studies, these are things that bullies require:
Recognition / fulfillment
Space
Superiority
Engagement
What We Can Do
Do we focus on the person, or on the behavior? It is very tempting to address and label the bully disturbed, ill-mannered, or just plain evil. As adults, we need to recognize the behavior and address that behavior rather than addressing the bully. Remember that to become effective counselors to address bullying behaviors, we should address the behavior and not the person.
Remember: bullying is a behavior. It is a behavior learned, therefore it can be unlearned and corrected.
An Answer to Bullying?
Gracie Barra is committed to becoming an organization against bullying. So far, we have seen success stories of bullied kids after being enrolled in the anti-bullying program. Although bully-proofing starts at home, we are happy to let everyone know that our campaign has seen success and has even been given recognition in the media.
For more information on Gracie Barra’s Bully Proof Program Check Bellow.
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